As I felt little hands on my bum and had to remind my five year old today that while hugs are ok, one can’t “put your hands up a lady’s dress to hug” I was struck by the bizarre nature of that particular lesson. I knew as a parent there would be teachable moments. When I was first pregnant, as a teacher of various age groups and thus various strange lessons, I figured I was prepared for what was ahead.
I wasn’t. I’m amazed nearly every day by some of the things I took for granted as common sense before I had kids. Here is a list of a few recent lessons I’ve had to teach. (And no, these aren’t just for the boys.) What are you some of yours?
- It is not ok to bite the cat.
- One should change their underwear more frequently than once a week.
- One should not wear (and wash!) new pajamas every single night.
- Legos do not come back from down the air conditioning vent. (This may have been an acceptable lesson at age 2-not at 5 and 7.)
- People don’t like you to pick their noses for them.
- Not everyone wants to talk openly about your bathroom habits or your private parts, especially at a restaurant.
- While it may be relaxing while watching television, playing with your penis is not acceptable.
- Neither is rubbing mommy’s breasts. (Again, the age thing.)
- Strangers on the street don’t need advice about their habits (eating, smoking, soda), even if you’re right (unless they’re your clients of course. Then advise away.)
- Kids sometimes just lose the fight, even if they make a good argument. That’s how parents roll.
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