I met one of my best friends when I was four. We went to preschool together and her mom was part of the Village of parents who helped take care of me when my father was dying. I used to play at her house after school and according to legend-we were inseparable.
I didn’t lay eyes on her again until we were freshman in high school. The exact time of when we met escapes me, but I can tell you I have no significant memory since that doesn’t include her. Again, we were inseparable. As adults, we don’t live near one another and we don’t see each other as often as we’d like, but she remains an integral part of my life. I call her when I’m sad. I call her when I’m happy. I call her when some really stupid commercial comes on and I know she’s the only one who will get it. My husband hates to play Pictionary with us because he thinks we share some unspoken language that gives us an unfair advantage. Although we don’t see each other much, I have been avoiding her all together lately because I can not bear the thought of moving away from her. I am not sure how I will exist without her close. She is my girl soul mate .
My daughter Faith has started Kindergarten and has two girlfriends that she adores. She talks about them all the time. One friend was in her preschool and while they were never directly buddies, they danced around each other for years in a sort of mutual admiration dance. This year they were placed in the same class and it has been hard to separate them every since. Her other friend was new to her life this year but they were instantly connected on some cosmic level. I know this sounds strange, but I believe you can find your life long friends at an early age. I did and I have. So, when Faith talks about her two “girls” I am terrified that this move will take her away from her best friends. I know she will meet other people and I know she will form fantastic bonds with girls and women at every stage of her life. I did and I have. Yet, I can’t help but worry, just a bit, that these two girls are Faith’s girl soul mates. What if in the process of this move toward bigger and better things I take my girl away from her biggest and best friends? I know what it feels like to leave your best friend and I can not bear the thought of taking Faith from hers.
I hold on to some hope. For me, after preschool, I didn’t see my Girl for 10 years and we picked up right where we left off. Faith’s two friends are here, but one has a military dad and the other has a mom with ties to New Jersey so you never really know where people may end up. Of course, there is always the chance we may be right back here for Faith to start high school, and wouldn’t it be great if freshman year meant she ran right back into the girls that will change her life?
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.