One of the weird parts of mourning someone is that there are moments during the day, no matter how long it’s been since you lost the person, where you wish you could tell them something.
When you’re a mom who is living without a mom, I suspect those moments happen pretty frequently. Here are some things I wish I could tell my mom today.
1. You were right. Ceramic sinks are nothing but trouble. I loved mine when we moved in. I hate it now-always scratched and always looking dirty. I should have listened to you.
2. Iced coffee is a thing now. Remember back in the day when you were too tired to make a fresh pot so every afternoon you threw some old Folgers in a cup and added some ice and called it a drink? I laughed at you. Now, like Suzie’s beloved old lady bags, Iced Coffee has become a heavily marketed trend that people pay $4 for! Can you believe it? You trend setter you.
3. All of those times I asked you a question and then challenged your answer for so long that you finally would throw up your hands and shout, “why are you even asking me when you clearly know more than me?”. Remember that? Yeah, sorry about that. I was obnoxious and annoying, just like my Middle One. Feel good about that Karma.
4.The Girl is exactly as magic as you said she was at age 2. You knew, even then, that she was something special. You were right. She’s kind and funny and smart and talented. She’s a joy to watch. You were right to soak her in as much as you could when you were still here with us. She was worth your time.
5. We’re alright, The Husband and I. You should know that. You prepared me well for marriage and life. Thank you for your honesty. It is hard. You were right about that. We’re trying hard not to put everything off until someday, like you suggested, in case we don’t get it-like you and dad. It’s a tough balance though, trying to live in the moment and not screwing up your future. We did a little too much of the former early on and we’ve been digging ourselves out of those mistakes for a while now. But we’re ok. We talk, like you told me. No useless silent treatments here. We face the hard parts together and we relish the fun parts and we try, every day to make our parents proud.
Miss you mom. Wish you could be here to know these things first hand.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.