I’m sitting to write this and I can hear my boys playing downstairs. They’re loud. They’re a bit wild actually (I should probably check on that banging) but they sound like they’re having so much fun.
I haven’t had fun in a while. My life is fantastic-don’t get me wrong. We have healthy, happy kids. My husband loves his work and thus is generally in a good mood when he’s around.
We have a nice house and we’ve met nice friends. We even had a few of those friends over yesterday and it was a lovely time. I enjoyed myself.
But fun? Not so much.
Which moves me into a bit of a funk.
I once went to an “intuitive counselor” who supposedly could read you and tell you what you needed in life. I am not sure I totally believe in it, but I will tell you she was spot on in telling me what I was feeling and struggling with before I even said a word. She also predicted the cause and time of my mother’s illness and subsequent death from looking at her picture. So, even if I don’t totally believe, you can bet I listened to what she had to say that day.
You know what her diagnoses for me was? After giving me the goods on all that was “wrong” with me, do you know how she proposed solving it? Get into business for yourself and… have more fun.
That simple-have more fun. She looked right at me and said, you seem happy but dull. (Yikes!) You need to go out and have a really good bit of fun.
It sounds easy, but with kids and work and bills and cleaning and laundry and…well, and- it isn’t so simple.
But I need it. I can feel it in my bones. If I don’t start having some fun, everyone suffers.
Maybe I just need to redefine fun. I have to be realistic and recognize I am not jetting off to some exotic locale for fruity drinks with my man. There will be no strolling anytime soon. We can’t even really afford a night out AND a babysitter, so no dinner and movies for me unless it’s pizza and a kid flick.
So today I begin my quest to find fun in the life that I already have.
I think I’ll start with Batman and Robin who are downstairs fighting bad guys. At the very least, it should be fun saving the world from The Joker.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.
My Mama Mojo says
When I am lacking on fun, I think back to my BC (before children days) and remember what I used to enjoy-then start it up again.
Rosana V. says
i HIGHLY recommend a girls' night out…can you leave the kids with dad one evening for some dinner and drinks with ladies??? if i lived around you, i'd drag you out!! 😉
Alicia (aka Dr. Mom) says
"happy but dull" is TOTALLy me too. Fun is totally NOT in my repetoire anymore, for the reasons you describe (minus working…) and "fun" definately HAS been redefined for me. For instance, going out late and dancing/drinking does NOT hold the same appeal as it did 10-15 years ago. i guess, bc i AM happy. And tired. its hard to be and have fun when youre exhausted 🙂
Anonymous says
Wow! That is exactly how I feel! Perhaps when I come to NJ we can create our own fun together!:-)
xxoo
Nicole
mary says
oh, looking for fun you say? MORGANTOWN HERE WE COOOOOME!!!!!!
One Sided Momma says
i highly recommend starting to fun things up by going to some place where you can get sensory overload (in a good way). examples: fabric store (if you're into silks, wools, cottons), farmer's market (smells, textures, people watching), or even a resale store. they cost next to nothing, you're still shopping (which is intrinsically a partay), and you're giving your senses a much needed boost away from superheroes.
Robin says
Cristie, I often feel the same way! I think you nailed it when you realized you need more fun in your life. My hubbie told me he hasn't seen me smile much lately. Ugh. Hopefully we can both find fun soon!