Don’t get my wrong, most of this move has been better than expected. We have a great new town. I get to walk everywhere, which I love but I don’t have city hassles like parking and noise to deal with. It is the best of both worlds. The kids and I have found many free and fun activities to do this summer. The people I have met here have exceeded my expectations. We are all making real friends. Best of all? We are 15 minutes from the beach. We are very blessed.
Then why am I so lonely? My sister is here for the week and it has been great to have someone to talk to and share the mundane every day stuff with. It has highlighted the fact that I don’t really have that anymore.
The NYC commute, coupled with my job at nights means my husband and I rarely talk to each other for more than a few minutes a day. In fact, I haven’t seen him awake since Monday afternoon.
I know a lot of couples go through this but we are not most couples. I can surround myself with people and share and talk all day but it doesn’t fill me unless I get some time with my favorite person. We picked each other. We liked each other best.
I realize, when I am rested and happy that this is temporary. Soon my business will take off and we will have money for weekend getaways and family vacations where we can reconnect again.
But for now, in the darkness of broke that comes with the rebuilding of our lives, I don’t care what other couples go through. I am selfish and I am lonely. I miss my best friend and I hope he does too.
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