A Letter to My Baby

Not such a baby anymore

To My Tiny Guy,

It’s been a long five years buddy. You came into this world and have been rocking it since day one. You’ve challenged my every fiber with your constant changes and unwillingness to be predictable, in anything you do. Your temper is fierce and your stubborn streak legendary.

Your spirit is unparalleled, which means you are full of surprises, both good and bad.

Last week you performed for your school graduation. You stole the show and that is not just a proud mom’s opinion, that is a fact. You sang your heart out. You pointed to people from the stage, dedicating songs to them. You hugged your teachers and cried when it was time to leave your friends.

You left us all, teachers, parents and kids alike, gaping in awe at your transformation.

Up until a few weeks ago, you hated school and everything that went with it. For two years you have had me second-guessing my decision to send you almost every single day. You cried. You carried on from door to door. You practically forced me to drag you into the building and then once there you were surly and withdrawn on good days and outwardly mean and vocal on bad ones.

The worst part of all this is that you seemed betrayed. You’d look at me as if I was committing the biggest sin subjecting you to all of this. We’ve had many heart to hearts about school and your friends and why it is not just necessary but good and fun to be a part of something like your class. You never seemed to buy what I was selling.

Your brother and sister have tried to convince you. Your dad has tried to convince you. Your teachers tried to love you into submission. And yet we soldiered on you and I- a team of two.

Eventually, you learned to just play along and I was resigned to just getting you through. I thought I had you figured out.

Then, the Mother’s Day Tea came and you were so proud to sing and share your crafts. You walked me around the room and told me all the things you had been doing. Your teacher pulled me aside to express her glee that you were participating with gusto.

You shocked us all. Just when I thought to count you out, you reminded me that that is never a good idea.

For five years, just when I’ve accepted you as what you appear to be (colicky, sensitive, foul-tempered, shy, withdrawn, did I mention sensitive?) you shake it up and prove me wrong. You are full of surprises Small Friend. You keep me on my toes and help me to be a better mom. You don’t ever let me rest on my laurels. Sometimes it’s exhausting, but I thank you for the challenge.

Because without you, I wouldn’t be the mom I am. Without your spirit, my life wouldn’t be as rich. There wouldn’t be as much music and the sun wouldn’t seem as bright.

For every challenge you bring, there is equal or greater joy. Your spirit is unparalleled and it is worth whatever we have to do or however long we have to wait to watch you shine.

Love you more and more,

Mom