I think I’m allergic to my house. I’ve been so tired recently. I don’t mean just regular mom tired. I’m talking not only do I wish I could nap all the time, but my actual brain synapses seem to be firing slow. I feel like I’m trudging through mud mentally. It’s hard to make decisions. It’s hard to comprehend the written word and (as you can tell from the spotty posts) it’s hard to write.
I’d say it’s just the madness of summer, and maybe it is, but when I sleep outside of my house, it seems not to be there. This weekend I spent a night at my in-laws and two weeks ago I was at my sister’s for four days. Both times, I didn’t feel the sluggishness that I do here and trust me when I say the sleeping arrangements in both places do not lend themselves to rest. And yet, I felt more rested. Before you ask, yes, the children were there.
It’s not our cat. We’ve had him forever and I’ve never experienced this before. It’s not carbon monoxide (trust me, I thought of it.) because we have monitors and no one else here is feeling bad. It’s not depression because the tired isn’t the same and I don’t actually feel sad or really “tired”. I just feel slow and dull. Who knows what it is exactly but I’m blaming this house because I’ve never had it before now.
The worst part is that going to a doctor in these situations always leads to one thing: nothing. They give you a sympathetic half-smile and some line about “if I had a nickel for every tired mother” and then send you on your way.
So I’ll muddle through, enjoy the fact that I can mostly just lay around on the sand and try not to pray for fall. I might even sneak in a nap.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.