I sent my kid to school yesterday with a giant hole in his pants. I didn’t realize it until we were loading into the car and when I started to make him head back into the house I realized, A)we were going to be late and B)he had no more clean pants anyway as laundry was still in the washroom.
So off he went with holey pants and his typical messed up hair.
I know I’m not perfect, far from it actually, but days like yesterday I wonder if I seem even worse to the outside world than I really am. I mean, I take care of my kids. They are mostly clean and dressed and have all their shi** together most days. But that boy’s hair is always a wreck and I just don’t have the fight in me in the morning to fully wet it down and tame it into submission like his father will do on weekends. And he dresses himself so I don’t always notice stains or holes until it’s too late.
As for the girl-she is a free spirit who dressed like Punky Brewster even before she discovered who Punky Brewster was. I don’t mind it. But I wonder if other people think I have no control because she looks a little like a hobo some days.
I’m usually alright withstanding the judging, except when I think it has to do with how well my children are cared for. That I couldn’t take. Because, of late, my life’s work has been caring for these kids and I’d hate to think people thought I was phoning that in.
Yesterday’s incident made me sorry for all the parents I’d judged when I was a teacher. And oh how I judged. (I was a much better parent before I had children and I wasn’t afraid to project my disdain on anyone I thought was doing it wrong.) Why couldn’t they get their kids to school on time? Why weren’t these children bathed more regularly? Didn’t the mom realize there was a whole in that boy’s pants? Geez, how hard is it to remember to send in field trip money?
These were all the things I thought and I have now failed at each one of them as a parent. Turns out it’s not so easy to always remember to have cash for field trips or wrangle your kids into the shower every night or get them all out the door on time every morning.
Oh well, if I’m judged it seems appropriate. Turn around is fair play right? I hope at least that my kids’ teachers know these babies are well loved. Even if they aren’t the best dressed or most finely kempt crew in the school.
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