Photo Credit: Beer100.com
Remember in college (or high school you naughty one) the game I Never? Someone said something like I’ve never done this or that thing (each progressively more crass than the last) and you drank if you couldn’t agree meaning, you actually had done whatever this thing was. I was never partial to this game. I preferred A**hole or Categories because not only am I not big on public confessions (in person anyway) but I love me some card games and I’m freakishly quick on my feet when half in the bag. Regardless of my choices, people played I Never and lately I’ve been thinking of that game a lot.
Now don’t worry, I’m not about to take this blog down the dirty drunken college road. I’m just going to give I Never a little mom twist. It has come to my attention lately that there are so many things I NEVER thought I’d do or say or think. The price of being a parent or at least a grown up I guess. So if I played a drinking game of I Never these days, it may be more humiliating than it was that one time in college.
Here are things I’d have to drink to if I played a round of Mom, I Never:
- Repeatedly utter the phrase, “please don’t pee on your brother”
- Dream of a new washing machine as the ultimate gift
- Schedule time to season frying pans
- Find exercise peaceful
- Look forward to folding clothes because it’s quiet time
- Dream of silence
- Pick someone Else’s nose
- Own a hot glue gun
- Own sensible shoes (though I actually never wear them so I still have that.)
- Not bat an eye at cleaning up various bodily fluids
- Answer questions about penis and vagina functions like it’s nothing
- Repeatedly utter the phrase, “please don’t fart on your brother”
How about you? What are your I Nevers? C’mon, share. Or else you’ll have to drink.
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Never have I ever…
– Washed someone else’s poop out of my own nails.
– Had the theme song to a kids show in my head all day.
– Dropped off my daughter at school and realized afterwards that I was still listening to one of her CDs in the car.
– Had a makeover done by a 4 year old which included Tinkerbell lip gloss on my ear because it was shiny and she wanted me to wear earrings…
– Tried to decipher a sentence when it’s rattled off as if it was one long word.
– Been so busy running around the house making sure everything was done before we left for (fill in the blank), that when we did leave I realized I forgot to put on deodorant and had to stop at the store for a stick because I was too far from the house to turn the car around and really didn’t want to stink of BO…I swear, that never happened. :/
– Been brought to tears by a pen on paper picture of sick figures when I find out it’s of my daughter and I on the beach that we went to earlier that day. 🙂
Yes, poop under the fingernails! How could I forget?:) Love it!