Sorry I’m late this morning. I had to get up early and put The Girl’s hair in braids. She has woken up at the crack of dawn for days now-waiting for me to have time to braid her hair. I finally explained last night that no matter how early she wakes, I won’t have time. See-morning is my time. I get stuff done before they are awake and I can’t compromise that or I’ll be running behind all day. I am hair-challenged and braids take me forever to do right so it just didn’t fit out day.
Then we had an entire conversation wherein I defended myself for not being E’s mom. E’s mom does braids and makes fresh cookies for playdates and hems the uniform skirt so her kid doesn’t look like a dope. E’s mom has three kids too and yet she always looks like a million bucks when she arrives at school pick up. E’s mom also might be the nicest person I know. In fact, she is such a super-mom she often calls me to see if she can pick up The Girl from school and drop her off. You know, to make my life easier. Someday I hope to grow up to be E’s mom. In the meantime, I had to remind The Girl that I work two other jobs and that is why I am not nor will I ever be E’s mom. (The fact that even if I was a total stay at home mom I wouldn’t have my sh** together like that woman is irrelevant here. The Girl will find out my shortcomings soon enough. In the meantime-I’ll blame the jobs.) She, as always, was lovely and accepted my explanation and in fact started telling me all the reasons I was a good mom. She really is incredible.
So this morning when she arrived in my bed with her book at o dark thirty, I felt a pang of guilt. I started rearranging my schedule in my mind. Then I fought with my brain because we had already set the limits and discussed this last night. No, I would not change my schedule. She would get pigtails as usual. Then she said, “mom, I’m not here for braids I just woke early and I thought I could read and maybe snuggle.”
Cue Melting Heart. Cue the overwhelming feelings of loss I’ve had lately because I can see her growing away from me more and more.
Cue braids. Just this once-I swear.
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