I spent a lovely few hours yesterday with a group of new mommies and their babies. Despite having to fight the urge to grab each and every baby and rock them on my hip, the day was great. I don’t know how L&D nurses do it-surrounded by cute babies all day. I would constantly get “caught” cooing at one or another when I was supposed to be taking vitals or inserting IVs. Good thing I’m not a nurse.
We were together with Dr. Laura Jana, MD, FAAP, co-author of Heading Home With Your Newborn-From Birth to Reality. It’s a great book that I cover more here. She was there to answer questions that these moms had about whatever they wanted. She was incredible and I was totally envious of the ladies who got to pick the brain of this woman who is not only an experienced pediatrician, but also has three kids of her own.
What struck me, after I got over how together these ladies seemed when I am certain I was still in my pajamas and not at a fancy city lunch with my a six week old, was that all their questions were exactly the same as the ones I had with a newborn. What about sleep patterns? What about spit up? What’s normal? What should I worry about? Can I spoil the baby?
No matter how much time passes, no matter how sophisticated the strollers become, no matter how large the information resource base has grown- with books and blogs and social media- for moms, the questions, fears and worries stay the same. You are suddenly in charge of this seemingly fragile little life and it doesn’t really speak your language. So you’re left guessing and learning through trial and error. You wonder and ask and worry. And luckily they survive our floundering and come through as active, healthy people who do start to speak our language-often quite loud. They are heartier than we think. They are built to withstand the most worrisome, fumbling mom and dad.
Luckily, so are we.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.
I'll just call you when the craziness starts happening!! : ) Mark has a few books he reads about babies so I ask him…lol! Believe me I am neurotic and am always worrying! So far I've found that for me personally too much information is a bad thing…ignorance is bliss they say and I understand why. So as long as J stays smiling and laughing I figure I must be doing okay. (Thankfully she is a great baby!) Come visit whenever you want…we are usually just hanging around or we could always meet you somewhere, we like to go out!
Cristie Ritz King, M. Ed says
Actually Cathy that's why this one is so great. I was like you and hit overload pretty early but then later I wished I had an encyclopedia of answers just when I needed it. I wish this was around with F because it's exactly that. When all of a sudden they're projectile vomiting or suddenly their sleep is totally different you can look it up and know you're not crazy and it will pass. I'm sure you're way better at it than I ever was though so-I'll just keep the book.:) Someday-I may even see that baby before she heads to college!
I am sure the book is great, but I stopped reading books about pregnancy and babies in about my 3rd month of pregnancy. I worry enough without reading about things that never even occured to me! I am just letting nature take its course. Thankfully being a mom is coming pretty naturally and I am loving every minute of it!