Summer Takes A Little More of My Baby Away

The Middle One crawled into bed with me this dark morning. He had a bad dream and nothing was going to make him feel better but a snuggle from mom and dad.

Despite my deep, deep love for sleep and personal space, there is nothing better than when one of my babies crawls into my bed after a nightmare. I love feeling needed. I love the unabashed closeness. None of them ever worry if it’s cool or if they’re too old for it and neither do I. It’s love and security, pure and simple. We both benefit.

I hate the end of summer always. I hated it as a student. I hated it as a teacher. I hate it as a mom. I’d like nothing more than to continue the long and lazy days that start mid-June long after they are stolen away at the end of August. This summer was particularly tough. Not only did we have a great one, the ryhtyhms of this family finally gelling so that (mostly) everyone got along and (mostly) we all maintained our sanity, but it’s also the first summer where I noticed The Great Pull Away so the end of this summer just brings to light how quickly it all goes by.

This summer the two oldest ones spent more time with friends than family. The three played more together than with me. They all slept later. They served themselves breakfast (except waffle days of course). They disappeared to their rooms  when we were home and played at the pool while I sat on the beach.

So packing up the beach locker this year, I couldn’t help but think about how different next year will be. We won’t need the beach shovels. They’re too busy riding waves. We won’t need a “shower outfit” for mom because they’ll all be able to take locker-showers without my help. I may need a book or magazine to occupy my time while they play and play without so much as running past my chair.

Of course, in the thick of raising three small kids, some of that sounds down right dreamy.

But in this moment, when I can see the path ahead, summer isn’t the only thing that I  miss already.