Mom Dating

I posted this on The Traveling Circus soon after I moved to a new state. I’ve been here some time and have some great friends but I still remember those early days of trying to connect. Mom-Dating, I call it. And sometimes, it sucks.

I didn’t date much. I was a serial monogamist as a teen (you know, long-term boyfriend—long stretch of me time—then serious BF). I got married at 24 to the guy I started dating at 20. When it comes to dating rules, I got nothin’.

See, I had an incredible Village in my old neighborhood, and they came to me early and mostly all at once. I had the fortune of joining two groups when my kids were really little and I clicked with the women in both. I mean clicked like-we’d be friends even if our kids didn’t hang out- clicked. It was great and there was little courting involved. Now I am here. My kids are older. There are no playgroups for 6 year old girls.

There is just the fertile mommy-friend mating area of school pick-up.

I hover around the edges of the “grassy area” and hope, just hope someone cool talks to me.

It’s like a junior high dance and I’m pretty sure I have a brand new, big, fat zit on my nose. Despite the zit, I have had two lovely women introduce themselves and offer to help me in any way with settling in. Now, I just have to decide whether to make the first move or hang back and play it cool.

One woman emailed me to ask about getting the kids together. Our kids match up. She also has three, which makes her immediately jump to the top of the heap because she understands what it’s like to live with your own circus. Of course, upon reading the email,  I wanted to call her immediately and say YES!! How about RIGHT NOW?!?! But I don’t want to seem over-eager or desperate.

The problem is, I am both.

What I did was respond (by email) and say, “sure, whatever day works with you is great by me.”

Damn. So open-ended. That’s like no-no number one of dating rules.

Now, I must wait.

I check my blackberry with stalker-like frequency, but there is no response. Is she busy? Did I come on too strong? Maybe, she was just being nice with the offer but she really doesn’t have time to get together. Or maybe, she’s just not that into me.

Dating sucks.