A rare moment together alone...in Times Square, so er, not really alone.
That’s a pretty dramatic headline isn’t it? Don’t worry, it’s not all that dramatic around here, but I do sorta miss The Husband.
He’s not away. Actually, this is the longest stretch he’s been home for a while. He’s even here most weekends and we spend a lot of time together. The problem is, we’re kind of like toddlers. You know how toddlers have “Parallel Play”? It’s where they sit near each other and contentedly play just long enough for their moms to think they’ll make such good friends, but in reality they never actually interact. They are contentedly sharing space but not really carrying on any sort of meaningful relationship.
Yeah, that’s pretty much The Husband and I. It’s not sad or bad even, it’s just where we are in our life right now. We are the captains of two Parent ships and sure enough we pass like two ships during the week. He’s at work all day and when he gets home I’m either out the door to a meeting or I’m plugging in to listen to an online lecture or editing a blog post or paying bills or any other number of chores I didn’t get finished during the day.
Weekends aren’t much better. We’re either separately dropping someone at a birthday party or karate or if we are together it’s corralling kids at a pumpkin patch or beach boardwalk. We talk a good game during the weekend days. We’ll meet in the kitchen where I’ll make lunch and he’ll be cleaning up. We say things like, “we’ll put the kids to bed and have a glass of wine and talk” or the ever popular, “let’s pick a movie to watch tonight after the kids are in bed.” They all sound like great ideas at two o’clock in the afternoon, but come nine at night we’re lucky if we can keep our eyes open through one drink much less an entire movie.
It’s pitiful, but I’m not complaining. Our life is pretty charmed and we still choose each other to spend these crazy days with. For now, I’ll just keep checking his facebook status during the day and hoping for a text or two to update me on the train ride home. At night, after the kids are in bed and we’re not far behind, I’ll dream of the vacation we might someday take, just the two of us, where we catch up and remember why we fell in love.
Until then, I hope you’re reading this honey. Miss you. Have a great day.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.
I’d like to get on this sister wife action. Been spoiled here lately. Have had the Mr. home for 3 wks straight. He’s gone for 1 wk now and I’m wondering why suddenly this is hard. I’m all done with alone. Cooked that bird. Fried that potato. Will cook sexy food for company, right? If only we sister wives could stay awake long enough for it to matter. Goodnight. I’m going to snuggle my lab now. 🙂
So true isn’t it. It’s like reading what is going on here at our house. You two are not alone. Love your posts.
Thanks. Maybe we all need to move to a compoud and me sister wives.;)
One of those things you always promise will never happen to you… But when it does, you’re totally right, it’s ok. Great post!
I’m not sure if it’s comforting or sad to see so many people can relate!
I totally get this. There is such a difference sharing a space and being together, being present. We have had to work really hard to balance the two. Sam has adjusted to being a step-dad before he ever became a father. And now, we’re having a baby. That’ll shake things up. We’ll have to work even harder.. When it all clicks, it is so worth it.
Work. That’s exactly what it is. You’re right though-totally worth it.