Madness of a Mother’s Mind

Yesterday was a particularly busy day. It occurred to me as I ran through things over and over that if anyone heard my internal monologue during the day, they might commit me. Here’s a sample of the ravings:

5:55AM–Crap, my alarm doesn’t go off for five more minutes. Why am I up? I should just get up. I mean I’m awake, why not buy myself 5 more minutes of work time?
6:00AM (alarm goes off and I have fallen into a dead sleep) Ugh, maybe just one snooze.
6:27 AM-(after three snooze cycles)I could push for one more, push email responses to later in the day and wake kids 5 minutes later. (hit snooze again)
6:28AM– No, I need to get up. Man I am so undisciplined. I should have been downstairs 26 minutes ago.
7:20AM-(after realizing The Girl has wrong tights for dance) Ok, add tights to list. Also hair crap and milk. I can squeeze in store after drop-off and preschool sing along. Can I make it to Target and get all those things at once? What if they’re out of tights? Sometimes they don’t have dance stuff in spring. What if I get there and they don’t and I’ve wasted time and still have not tights? Should I cancel playdate and go after school? No, boys are counting on it and they’ll be bears. I’ll squeeze it in. Yeah, I can do it. Don’t forget milk.
7:21-7:45- milk, milk, hair gel, milk, tights, milk, hair gel, don’t forget milk, preschool, playdate, mail packages, pay bills, milk, school pick up, dress for dance, hair gel, find Great Auditorium-god I hate still not knowing my way around-, money for sitter, dinner? who knows, hostess order, emails to hostesses, follow up phone calls, kids’ showers, library, milk, don’t forget milk. I should write all this down. (get calendar) oh wait I did but then I won’t check the calendar ‘cuz it’s in my purse. I’ll just repeat all day.

9:15- Teacher’s here early, think she’ll let me scoot out so I have extra time for purchases? I’m afraid to ask.
9:20–Ok don’t be dumb you’re only asking for 10 minutes and she’s in here anyway. Look he’s playing in the corner. Oh no is that him that smells? I DO NOT need a dirty diaper right now. That is not in the plan kid. Please don’t smell. (Check pants.) Whew, dodged that bullet.

10:25 (tires screeching in front of house) can I leave milk in car? So hot but don’t want to be late? Bought the insulated bag but still not sure. Oh I better run in.

10:30-(racing into school to realize parents aren’t even in auditorium yet) I am such a rock star. Mission accomplished and still on time. Now if I could only stop panting and sweating.

10:35-Dude I’m so ready for bed and it’s still morning.
10:40-Oh look at the slide show. Oh man I’m gonna be a mess next week when T.M.O has his ceremony. I can’t believe he’s leaving preschool. Wasn’t he just born? I swear he is still my baby.
Oh woman this isn’t his day-concentrate on The Baby. It’s his turn.
10:41–Oh look at all the people here. These must be first born children. Nah, if we were local we’d have people here too. My poor kids. I hope I’m not wrecking them. Look at all the Grandmas. I wish my kids’ Grandma were here. Oh, their Grandma will never see a music review. Damn you idiot don’t get all weepy. These people will think you’re crazy. Ah hell you probably are.
10:43-Oh here he comes. Ok, live in the moment, live in the moment. Turn off your brain and concentrate on that sweet face. Seriously, stop thinking about what you have to do next. Really, it’s his turn. Ok enough look at how cute. Maybe if I take pictures I’ll concentrate more.
Yeah, that’s better. Good now I’m really in tune with him.
Did I forget to unpack the milk?