I was going to reserve this Monday for a Sandy update. I wanted to make sure that the story of Superstorm Sandy didn’t disappear. It’s always on our minds around here, and maybe even on national news the last few days because of Congress’ participation in it, but in general, the story will fade over time, as these things often do. I wanted to do my part to make sure that didn’t happen. I thought, with my little corner of the world, I could continue to bring focus to the people that are still fighting, still building, still struggling to return to life after the storm.
That’s my plan for some M.a.D Mondays. But this Monday, I’m just plain, old mad. Last week, The Husband started the new year back at work to be told that his services were no longer needed. He was a Senior Vice President, with eight years of successful service at this company, the very same company for whom we uprooted our lives and moved to New Jersey. But on Wednesday, they ended the relationship. No real explanation and certainly no evidence of anything he did wrong. It wasn’t handled well and he deserved much better.
Ironically, (or maybe just bad luck, don’t push my Lit skills now) in December we talked about him moving on because he could feel that maybe his time was up there, as it was seeming there was no room left for him to grow. But, when I asked in a panic if he thought his job was safe, he was sure it was because he was in charge of so many accounts and he’d been told just a few months back that he was essential. I guess their idea of essential changed over Christmas.
Pretty incredible huh? But I won’t dwell here. I have plenty of opinions but none are kind and that is not The Husband’s way. He is the bigger man and from him I have much to learn about moving forward and keeping clean.
So move forward I shall. I’ll tell you, after the initial shock wore off, he went into work mode, contacting everyone he knows to put job feelers out and I went into survival mode trying to figure out how we were going to pay our bills on little to no money and then find what work I could do to generate income immediately.
What’s hilarious, in the if-you-don’t-laugh-you’ll-cry way, is that this was the year we were going to work on savings. We’ve spent the last few years digging out of debt so much that we’ve got a paltry savings. Also, we’ve had to move twice so any savings we did have was quickly wiped out with all of that expense. We vowed in 2013 to buckle down even further (if that’s possible) and make a nice safety net in case something like this ever happened. We thought we had plenty of time to do it.
Unfortunately life had other plans.
So, here we are. We’re trying everything we can to look forward because looking back and analyzing for mistakes, missteps, wrong-doing on our part or theirs, could kill us both. There is no room for anger, shame or resentment in a successful and contented heart.
We’re focusing on all we have. We’re being creative about getting what we need and we’re practicing gratitude for all we’ve been given thus far and we’re crossing our fingers and toes that this is the beginning of something even greater for our family.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.
You are entitled to every MAD thought that crosses your mind. I just don’t understand a culture that demands so much of its workers and managers and returns so little. Everyone is made to feel expendable. I do always feel that good things come from change. At a certain point in my recent past I read a book by Maya Angelou and found a quote something like “the need for change bulldozed a road through the center of my mind”. I went with that and amazing things resulted. While you didn’t chose to get on the bulldozer, on it you are sweet girl! It will work out~ Let me know how I can help. ei
Thank you so much. We have already seen the blessings of this change-not in a new job (YET!) but in the daily reminders of the remarkable people we have in our lives. That includes you!
Kimberly/Foodie City Mom says
I’m so sorry that things are challenging at the moment. Hopefully, this rough start will lead to a wonderful rest of the year. Your husband sounds like a great man (and I know that he is married to a great woman!), so I’m sure that your family will weather this storm!
Thank you. He is a great man so I think you’re right, he has great things in his future.
WHAT???!!!!! That sucks! I am so sorry. Why is it always the nicest people??? But on a more positive note, you have three beautiful, healthy children, a husband who loves you, a supportive network of family and friends who love you, and WONDER…you can still find it everyday, I promise. XOXO
PS – Now there will be more time to work on that new year’s resolution for the four of us to hang out more…haha (I always go into joke mode in time of crisis or sadness…not everyone appreciates it, but I think you might) : )
Cathy, appreciate it? If it weren’t for joke mode I wouldn’t survive! Thank you and you’re right, we’re learning every day that our blessings far outweigh our struggles. Now when is our next dinner date?!?
Crystal D says
No fricken way! Oh lady, this just plain sucks. Unbelievable, right after Christmas!?!?! (Sorry, I’ll try and be positive now, I just had to get that out of the way.)
The Husband is just wonderful. I have no doubt he will find something quickly. Time for bigger and brighter things. Hang in there and stay positive.
Sending you hugs.
Thank you, lady. He is pretty impressive so my hope is for a very short setback that leads to bigger and better for him. In the meantime, hugs appreciated.