Sometimes, amidst all the deep thoughts and self-improvement I write about, I just like to paint a picture of what goes on here some days, in the name of keeping it real.
Yesterday I took The Girl to the orthodontist to end “Phase I” of her treatment. I had she and The Baby with me. The orthodontist is a favorite destination because there are video games. These are not modern gaming systems mind you, but good old fashioned Donkey Kong and Pac Man machines like the ones that raised me in that bowling alley so many years ago. Suffice it to say I gained tremendous street cred with my boys when they saw me rock Frogger for the first time. Once I wowed them with my mad skills though I had to refrain from even entering the room for fear I would make other kids cry while I dominated the games and failed to model sharing very well. What can I say? Some habits die hard and this gamer can be kind of a bully.
I was feeling pretty good reflecting on how my kids were occupied and handling the wait pretty well. So, I relaxed a bit as I sat in the waiting room chatting with a lovely woman who was complimenting The Baby on how cute he was. I learned very quickly this woman was pregnant with her ninth (yes, you read that right) child and I immediately looked at her differently. You know, like a saint. She was lamenting about how sometimes moms are too judgemental and often not nice based solely on appearances and I was doing my best to show her my I’m- not-judging-you-at-all face when I heard the tell-tale “mommy” from the video game room. I went out to The Baby who sheepishly asked if there was a bathroom he could use.
Shit.
Literally.
Yep, we raced upstairs and while most of it made it where it belonged a good amount was in his pants and we’re not talking the easy to clean up kind. I won’t gross you out any more…
Flash forward to my rendition of Lucy Ricardo on the assembly line as I frenetically wipe, rinse, wrap and redress one little commando boy.
All this happened in the course of about 3.5 minutes. He calmly went back to his video game relieved and free of those constraining briefs. I left the wad of “toilet paper” around the corner while I snuck into the waiting room and grabbed my purse into which I snuck said wad. Then I went right back to my conversation with Mom of Nine without missing a beat.
We continued with our appointment. Then we went for an ice cream treat (before which I transferred the underwear from my purse to a trash bag in the car so I wasn’t continuing to carry it around with me. Even I have standards.). Then we headed to pick up The Middle One from school.
I shared the news with the older kids about what was in the bag and The Girl was shocked.
“ALL that happened at the doctor?”
“Wait, he’s not wearing underwear?”
“And we went for ice-cream?”
Yep, that’s how we roll girl.
Sometimes with three kids you gotta go commando and not let the dirty wad in your purse stop you from getting to the business of the day.
I can’t imagine how you roll with nine. What must be in THAT purse?
God Speed New friend. God Speed.
