He told her she was beautiful and it was exactly what I needed to hear.From the moment my baby girl was born it was clear she would walk the same physical path as I. Her hair is mine. Her face is mine. Her eye color is mine. (The shape is blissfully her dad’s-huge and deep set. They are killer.) Sadly for her, beneath her full and pouty King lips, the mouth…all mine.
This all means that yesterday we began the inevitable orthodontics journey. Our beloved dentist referred us to two different offices. We have no insurance for any kind of ortho treatments so I started off to find the cheapest guy in town. (Just for the record, I’m not purposely being sexist. Our dentist is a she, but for the life of us we can’t find a female orthodontist.)
I scheduled two different evaluations figuring I would take the information from each and sit down to make a logical financial decision.
Then I walked into Dr. Coakley’s office. First, the diplomas all read University of Maryland. I grew up 10 minutes from the main campus and spent three great years of my life 10 minutes from the dental school. The hometown diplomas made my stomach settle just a wee bit. Score one for the good doctor. Education aside, we were warmly welcomed from the minute we dinged the tiny bell over the door.
They walked my baby back and the nurse sat and showed her every single step that would happen. She talked to My Girl, not me. She made my girl feel important. She made her feel safe. She told her of the t-shirt she would get and the free ice cream coupons that would take the place of the popcorn she would miss. “Suzie” was lovely, but that is what nurses do. They provide the warm. I was still neutral.
Then Dr. Coakley walked in. He shook our hands. He asked The Girl why she thought she was there. He chatted with her about what he was going to talk to me about. Then, and this is the kicker, he turned to the girl, looked her right in the eye and said, “the first thing I want you to know is that you are a beautiful girl. We are going to be critical of your teeth right now but I want you to hear that this is just about fixing stuff, not about making you better because you already look great.”
Heart melting. Eyes watering.
Amazing! I, the mother, the girl who spent NINE YEARS suffering through massive mouth renovation, the woman who STILL has a bottom retainer in place, did not even think of the self-esteem ramifications of this venture. It did not occur to me that if The Girl had to sit and listen to us pick apart her teeth, jaw, smile, mouth it might affect her image of herself. I didn’t think of that. He did.
I cancelled the other appointment. I am sure that doctor is great, but I signed on the dotted line that day. We’ll be paying for braces until college tuition bills arrive but my girl will feel great about who she is and I have Dr. Coakley to thank.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.
This all means that yesterday we began the inevitable orthodontics journey. Our beloved dentist referred us to two different offices. We have no insurance for any kind of ortho treatments so I started off to find the cheapest guy in town. (Just for the record, I’m not purposely being sexist. Our dentist is a she, but for the life of us we can’t find a female orthodontist.)
I scheduled two different evaluations figuring I would take the information from each and sit down to make a logical financial decision.
Then I walked into Dr. Coakley’s office. First, the diplomas all read University of Maryland. I grew up 10 minutes from the main campus and spent three great years of my life 10 minutes from the dental school. The hometown diplomas made my stomach settle just a wee bit. Score one for the good doctor. Education aside, we were warmly welcomed from the minute we dinged the tiny bell over the door.
They walked my baby back and the nurse sat and showed her every single step that would happen. She talked to My Girl, not me. She made my girl feel important. She made her feel safe. She told her of the t-shirt she would get and the free ice cream coupons that would take the place of the popcorn she would miss. “Suzie” was lovely, but that is what nurses do. They provide the warm. I was still neutral.
Then Dr. Coakley walked in. He shook our hands. He asked The Girl why she thought she was there. He chatted with her about what he was going to talk to me about. Then, and this is the kicker, he turned to the girl, looked her right in the eye and said, “the first thing I want you to know is that you are a beautiful girl. We are going to be critical of your teeth right now but I want you to hear that this is just about fixing stuff, not about making you better because you already look great.”
Heart melting. Eyes watering.
Amazing! I, the mother, the girl who spent NINE YEARS suffering through massive mouth renovation, the woman who STILL has a bottom retainer in place, did not even think of the self-esteem ramifications of this venture. It did not occur to me that if The Girl had to sit and listen to us pick apart her teeth, jaw, smile, mouth it might affect her image of herself. I didn’t think of that. He did.
I cancelled the other appointment. I am sure that doctor is great, but I signed on the dotted line that day. We’ll be paying for braces until college tuition bills arrive but my girl will feel great about who she is and I have Dr. Coakley to thank.
What a wonderful doctor! I am sitting here tearing up reading your post. I don't know how you made it out of that office without a box of tissues!
Aw, beautiful Cristie! Self esteem would have never crossed my mind either!