|It’s my birthday and I’ll make an ugly cake if I want to.|
It’s been ten years since I turned 27. (See what I did there? I’m making you do a little morning math to figure it out. Crafty huh?) I had a whole post written on how much I think I’ve grown in the last two years. Then I woke up this morning and it bored even me. So instead, I’m reflecting on what I wish I knew when I was 27 that might have made some of the growing pains a little more mild.
Here are 10, 15 16 things I would tell my 27 year old self if I had the chance:
1. Love your body. Contrary to what you think when you look in a mirror, your boobs are fabulous, your stomach is taut and your hips aren’t huge. Love your body now because no matter how hard you work later, it’s never going to look like this again.
2. Credit cards will kill you. No one cares if your clothes are from Bloomingdales or your furniture from Pottery Barn and if they do, you won’t be friends for long. Get a hold of your spending. Discover Khols. Some of those same designers are there and they’ll make you just as happy. Target will revolutionize your life and even the cool kids will shop there.
3. Hug your mom. She’s maddening at times but she knows a lot about a lot of things that will be very relevant to you (headstrong daughters and professionally ambitious husbands among them) and you have a short amount of time to get all that information out of her. She doesn’t like to hug. Make her.
4. All those thousands of CDs you spend hours meticulously categorizing and alphabetizing? Soon they will be in boxes in a basement in New Jersey (we’ll get to that later) never to be touched again except for the brief moments when you load them onto a device the size of a deck of cards that will hold all of them. Yes, all of them.(Oh, same with all those books.)
5. As hard as the next few years are, they make you strong and smarter and resilient enough to handle anything. They suck sometimes, but your life is richer for it in the end. So mess up. Make mistakes. Just forgive yourself and know that there is plenty of time to right the ship.
6. Post Partum Depression is real. There is no shame in it.Ask for help.
7. Living near the beach is as amazing as you think it is. Someday you will have a love affair with your town.
It’s a glorious feeling.
8. Living near NYC is as amazing as you think it is. It’s hard, but you actually can afford it and it’s worth the sacrifice.
9. That said, there is time to get there. You are right to stay near your mom for now.
10. Your voice can help other people find theirs. Speak up.
11. Quit trying to convince everyone you know who you are and what you want even though you’re young. They are right. You have no idea.
12. You will one day spend hours writing and people will actually read it. You will have all these people you consider friends even though your conversations are 140 characters and most of their faces are unknown to you. You will count on them for advice no one else can give. You will care about them more than they know.
13. You saw a few months ago that awful things can happen in the world. There is more to come like earthquakes and shootings. It’s bad, but know this: there are more good people than bad and humans beings have an amazing capacity to love and help and dream and share. People will constantly humble you with the power they use for good in spite of the awful things in the world. THAT is the world you will raise your children in.
14. You will get to San Franciscoagain.
15. Those girls you loved in high school and college? They are still the best friends in the world and
Your Kids love their kids
16. Never say never as you have no idea where life will take you.
Happy Birthday Kid. The best is yet to come.
P.S. Looking for more parenting guidance and tips for self-care? Check out From Chaos to Calm a guided training to help you feel better in this tough season.
I tried to comment on this piece last week and just as i was finishing the IT guy came in to do something to my machine and of course I had to shut it down…I can't capture the sheer eloquent genius of a week ago, but I wanted to say that this was a great piece. Working with 18-25 year olds on a daily basis, I try to cut through the crap and pass on nuggets like these because they still see me as some what relevant. Lord knows I probably wouldn't have listened to me at that age, but just in case these kids are smarter than I was (and most of them are by a long shot), I tell them the things I wish I had know about my twenties. This is touching and well stated. Thank you.
I just want to give you a big, fat hug!!! Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday! No matter what the cake looks like, I'm sure it's delicious. Enjoy!
One Sided Momma says
p.s. really great links – all so thoughtful yet very fun.
One Sided Momma says
yes, they are still the best friends in the world. 🙂 i love you. happy birthday to the only person in the world who got me before i did. xoxoxo beautiful!
Crystal D says
Happy Birthday beautiful girl! I hope this day and and all the others that follow are as special as you. Enjoy a big piece of cake and lots of hugs and kisses.
Great post! Happy birthday!
pajama mom says
happy birthday crk!
Karawang Traveling says
nice picture and good story 🙂