For the Moms

What to write on a mama blog on Mother’s Day? Oh, the pressure. Quite frankly, since my mother died, I have been uncomfortable on Mother’s Day because I am not ready for it to be about me. So maybe because I’m trying to focus elsewhere, here is what I’ve been thinking of today: three different groups of women.

First, I have been thinking of my friends (and all that I don’t know) who are doing this alone. I woke up to coffee and the New York Times in bed today, but I know all over the world there were women who woke up and didn’t have anyone to wait on them at all. Oh, I’m sure they got hand made cards and plenty of sloppy kisses, which is of course the best part of Mother’s day, but it sure was nice to be acknowledged by a grown-up partner for a job well done too. For all the mommies who by death, divorce or some other terrible life-twist are flying solo-I think you get extra honors today. I’m just sorry I can’t be there to bring all of you coffee in bed.

Second, to my mama friends (and all I don’t know) who have lost a child. Be it a baby, or grown-up, I imagine there is no greater pain than that of a parent who loses a child. I would expect the pain is especially powerful on Mother’s Day. Even if you have other children here to celebrate you, I suspect there is a hole that is never entirely filled. I hope you have some peace today knowing you were the special person chosen to usher in that extraordinary life onto our earth-no matter how long or short their stay here.

Finally, to all of those who take care of our mothers. There are angels among us, and they are the caregivers to the people we care about most. Sometimes, they are siblings. Sometimes they are Aunts or uncles. Sometimes, they aren’t even related but they treat our mothers as if they were their own. This is an irreplaceable gift-caring for our mothers so well that we have the luxury of sleeping peacefully knowing that our moms are in capable, caring and respectful hands. Perhaps the only role more important than mother is that of the person who takes care of mothers well into the sunset of their lives.

I hope this isn’t too much of a downer on a day reserved for pastels and flowers. I just wanted to take a moment to honor the people who should get the most credit today; the unsung heroes of Mother’s Day.