Cheating on The Husband with a man named Bread

It is a running joke around here that while my husband assures me I never need to worry about him and other women, his iPhone is a very different story. He clearly is enamored with his little friend and I often have to vie with the latest sports or weather app for his attention.
Well, it seems these days I too have stepped outside the marriage and taken another. My lover’s name is Breadman Ultimate Plus.
It started out innocently enough. I did it for the children.
“I’ll know exactly what they’ll be eating.” I said.
“It will save us money.” I argued.
Alas, my husband let me proceed.
My sister set us up-The Breadman and I; sending me home from Maryland with him tucked neatly in the back of my mini-van ready to woo me with his multi-setting wonders.
I was tentative at first. He was supposed to be easy and uncomplicated but I have a way of mucking things up at the beginning so I proceeded with caution. Indeed, he is uncomplicated. There is no zen-like kneading or apron-necessitating stirring and mixing. Nope, I just fill up Breadman’s belly with organic flour and a little yeast and let him do all the work. Do you see why this affair would be so tempting? What lady couldn’t use a little uncomplicated workhorse in her life?
And his handiwork? Oh, dear his handiwork. With the exception of one Wheat that refused to rise, he has produced for me Dairy Whites and Honey Wheats and the most decadent yet airy French that I am in total ecstasy with each warm and buttery bite.
Yes, Breadman has been a most fulfilling partner. He is low-maintenance, reliable, good for the health of my children and quite satisfying to this formerly closeted carb-o-file.
Watch out iPhone, there’s a new gadget in town and since Husband may have to work a little harder from now on you may just find yourself lonely from time to time.